Life's a beach, and then you die

It turns out that, after all, Turkey is a banana republic. The proof is hidden on the roughest bit of coastal road between Fethiye and Antalya. As if something to be ashamed of, the crops are only witnessed in the secluded valleys on the mountainous route.

The fact that I crossed this feat of nature in a bus has a long history, but the mechanized transport almost made me scream with joy, as the coastal path mirrored the Croatian one: no curb, no fencing to prevent a minimal 10 meter drop, and way too much traffic. But this time with four times the change in elevation and hundred percent more rain. The thunder outside mixed smoothly with the new age birds in my ears, at the courtesy of the bus company’s inride entertainment system.

In matters that concern the nose, Turkey is the country of masquerade. Colognes are offered after a long bus ride, perfume applied before leaving the house and several automatic stench covers are set up in houses, restaurants and bathrooms just under the ceiling. Unlucky as I am with my height sometimes, it appears that every now and again I will receive such a cosmetic payload right in my unwarned eyes.

After crossing the small seaside town for a second time in 24 hours, it became hard to believe that I had been here before. Not a single building, restaurant or feature begged recognition. If I was told that I had spent my holiday years ago at a completely different location I would have believed it.

The Turkish road knows many hazards, but the most serious might be the high way reverser. Often with a phone glued to their ear, drivers who have missed a turn might drive kilometres backwards on the curb of the high way in the backward direction. I am normally not one for prescriptive judgements, but in my view this behaviour should not be considered morally defendable anywhere in the world.

But finally, I had found the sun I was looking for so long. And so I mused, as I saw the big red ball drop for the last time on Turkish territory. With my feet in the sand I realized I knew the saying, but had spelled it wrong the whole time: life’s a beach, and then you die.